I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
