First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
