winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
