Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
