Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
