I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
