But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
