A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
