I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
