Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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