Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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