I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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