is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
