He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
