i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize