lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
