The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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