I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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