THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
