This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Screwed.edu
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
