Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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