My vagina just recognized that song.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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