hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
