ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize