Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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