She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
even my farts smell like vagina
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
