i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
