The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize