So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
