Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
