I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
