Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
