is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
