I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
