...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
