Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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