their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
