I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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