If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
