Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i need some magic done to my vagina
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
