I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize