Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
