We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
