Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she peed on how many people?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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