new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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