check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
