What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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