there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Terrible idea I love it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
