I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
