..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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