So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
