If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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