I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
