he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
