This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
