Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
